The First Week

The first week of the declared quarantine was like a breath of fresh air. I was drowning in school requirements that all I wanted was three days’ worth of rest. And boy, was I excited to finally get some proper sleep. Finally, after months of sleep deprivation and stress, I was getting 8 hours (sometimes more) of sleep. 

During the first week, everything felt just like my semestral break. I was finally free of the educational system, and everything I was preoccupied with disappeared. I enjoyed every single hour I was out of school. It was the last week of the semester, anyway. I thought, once the week is over, things are going back to normal, or in more specific terms, I am finally going to be done with college.

I have been a college student for about 8 years now --- twice the time a usual Bachelor’s degree would take. You can just imagine how it felt like to have something within reach yet your fingers just can’t seem to touch it. When you thought you were finally starting a new chapter of your life, the universe decides that no, you gotta stay on hold. Suddenly, my adulting anxieties were gone. During the month before the quarantine started, I have been thinking about part-time jobs I can do while reviewing for the boards, I was considering financial investments, I was starting to plan the next two or three years of my life. But the quarantine put all that on hold. As sad as I was that graduation was canceled and plans were put on hold, I was mostly relieved that all these anxieties about living as an actual adult, about being an actual part of the working society, was lifted off of my shoulders. And damn, that was refreshing. 

I know everyone who is living the adulting life now went through these anxieties about standing up on your own feet. And for late bloomers, like me, it's a little bit worse. I just turned 26 this April (yes, birthday was celebrated in quarantine), and I have been in and out of customer service jobs before I finally got myself back together and went back to school to finish my degree. So to make the story short, I was mostly dependent on my family until now. So the thought of being a college graduate, with a practicing license, and a full-time stable job, scared the hell out of me. I knew there were responsibilities that were included in my new position in society. And honestly? I don't know if I can live up to those newly established responsibilities. I have been so used to living under the protection of my family my whole life that I don't know how to survive if I step out of it.

Anyway, the first week of nothing but staying at home, sleeping, being lazy and just enjoying the fresh air away from highway our condo in Manila is nearby was nothing but rejuvenating. I knew I needed this break, but I knew I only needed 3 days. On the fourth day, my brain is starting to kick into overdrive and I was looking for something to keep me busy and active...